A Dateless Wonder

The life and times of a great Dateless Wonder.

Monday, March 29, 2004

Melodrama ensues...

Many people maintain that the reason they are not seeing anyone is because they have a fear of rejection.

Ah, rejection. Thou art so ennobling.

When one admits to being afraid of rejection, we're all supposed to nod in such a way that we acknowledge the courage it must have taken this friend to admit this tidbit about themselves.

"Sweet friend," I say. "Sweet friend, rejection is something that should be feared. In fact, it's the most fearsome creature I have ever witnessed in my life. I mean, what could be worse than being humiliated by someone saying, 'Uh...Sorry, I'm busy' or "Uh...I don't really feel that way about you'?NOTHING! NOTHING!"

That's what you wanna hear, coward? Isn't it?

How can one be afraid of rejection? In my opinion, the humiliation of being denied is rather shortlived. Think of all the women who are willing to go on Average Joe con Adam, knowing full well that they will be rejected. (Oooh! A reality TV reference-- It IS reality, isn't it?)

So what, my friends, are we afraid of? Not rejection, we are afraid of success.

Success? It's simply mind-boggling, Dateless! Whatever do you mean?

If you take that risk, and dare to ask another on a date, nothing changes if you are rejected. You may be a little worse for wear for a few weeks, but for the most part, you'll be all right because NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

However, if you asked someone out on a date, you risk so much. You risk your autonomy, you risk dating someone you ultimately won't like, you risk having to learn how to kiss....And do other things. You risk getting intimate with someone! You risk! You risk! You risk!

The sky IS falling.

(I promised melodrama, didn't I?)

When would you be more nervous?

a) A night when you're going out on a date.
b) A night when you're not going out on a date.

So who's the real coward now?


Saturday, March 27, 2004

Following the earlier posting about the aforementioned novel...
I've never really thought that virginity was an especially big deal...

I've always assumed that it is something everyone has to go through; that is, having it and losing it. Why do we always lose sight of the fact that everything we've ever worried about has already been worried about to death by the millions of people who lived and worried before us? If there is nothing we can do about it, why worry about it? Worriers begetting worriers.

Anyways, since I have no suitors, virginity is not really an issue. This leads us to the question, or should I say absence, of dates.

If one wants to go on a date, one must have a suitor.
But where does one find a proper suitor? One would think that a university would be a prime arena for such an endeavour. However, when one's classes are filled with women and a handful of gay men, one may have difficultly finding dates. That is, if one is a heterosexual female.

One is troubled.


Friday, March 26, 2004

I picked up a most bizarre book today.

It was just lying on a shelf in my home. I'm not exactly sure how it got there. It's called "Six Reasons to Stay a Virgin," and no, it is not a Catholic self-help book. Rather, it's your average, run-of-the-mill British chick-lit novel.

Aside from the writing being intolerable, I have never been made to feel more inadequate in my life. This book speaks to me, honey!

I think that I might be the main character:

1)She is a virgin.
2)She cuts herself off from men.
3)She harbours crushes on men who she doesn't know.
4)She is only a year older than me! (24)
5)She is seen as a pariah amongst her mates!

Hmm, scratch the last one-- my mates seem to all be virgins as well.

I guess you heard it here first:

Virginity IS contagious.


Tuesday, March 16, 2004

And so it begins, the life and times of a great Dateless Wonder. I know there are many of us out there so I'm not ashamed to admit it: I've never been out on a date, I've never had a boyfriend, and I've never participated in the countless activities that girls 10 years my junior have. I don't know what I'm waiting for-- I might as well adopt the hundred cats and take up embroidery this afternoon!

Why is this? Why am I a dateless wonder? Well, that's the point of this journal. It's just an attempt to uncover the innerworkings of a lonely (and melodramatic) soul, and perhaps, find out why I'm single.