A Dateless Wonder

The life and times of a great Dateless Wonder.

Monday, January 31, 2005

@#!% hand psychic...

...she was wrong about everything that was supposed to happen this month!

Someone needs a new day job! Sheesh!!



Saturday, January 29, 2005

single and desperate or married and bored?

Went out for dinner here with the girls and the guy tonight. We got a table right next to the floor-to-ceiling window that looks out on to the street. Always enjoyable because you get to watch passersby and they get to watch you. I waited for someone to knock on the window and point at my food with a curious expression 'cause I wanted to give someone a thumbs up.

There were four thirtysomething women sitting at the table next to us and I was trying to establish whether they were single and desperate or married and bored. I tried to listen to their conversation a bit. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but listening to their intonation was enough fodder for analysis.

Reasons they were single & desperate:

1. They flirted with the waiter in that typical loud, obnoxious way that some women do. "SO, WHAT'S GOOD ON THE MENU? OH! REALLY? WE'LL HAVE THAT!" P.S. to the waiter: Why describe a dish as flavourful? That doesn't really tell us anything now does it? Shouldn't that be a given?

2. They didn't eat their food. This, in my opinion, was really strange. I mean, they all ordered the Kobe Beef Burger, but barely touched them. Why? I thought that perhaps they were trying to maintain their thirtysomething figures.

3. As my friends and I were leaving the restaurant, one of the women started listing all the men she'd slept with this year..."Brian...Three times. Steve...Twice. Steve #2....Three times. I don't really sleep around, girls! I just repeatedly sleep with the same men!!"


Thursday, January 27, 2005


That palm reader has four days to make good on her predictions!

If I don't get a boyfriend and have a published piece by the end of this month then maybe I won't live till I'm 80, have 2 kids, and need corrective surgery in 2 years!


Tuesday, January 25, 2005

are you a biased asshole?

Find out here...In a racial bias test created by Harvard University.

We talked about these in one of my classes. I don't know if I believe the methodology, but they're interesting.

For most of the ones I took, my results say I'm neutral to the races in question. I think that just means I hate everyone equally. :)


Monday, January 24, 2005


(Take care--I'm feeling all rant-like.)

Most of my friends are going to be 24 years old in the next few months. (Junky and Janice are already there!)

Yikes!!! That seems so old and farty--No offense guys. :)
We September babies have it good (for now).

Now the interesting thing is--I think--I know over 5 attractive and intelligent ladies who are SINGLE! SINGLE! SINGLE!

They, for the most part, are not malodourous, maladroit, or simply, mal.

That said, my newest theory--as reflected in Junky's comment area--is that people seem to go insane when they are in relationships for these reasons:

i) When men/women are smitten they put up with a lot of shit they otherwise wouldn't.
ii) An individual can quickly turn from an I and a me into a we and an us.
iii) Individuals start rationalizing their partners' behaviours like there's no tomorrow.
iv) Conversely, individuals hold their partners to obscenely high standards and expectations.
v) People stay in relationships that are devoid of pleasure and happiness simply to be a part of something (nonexistent).

I'm sure there are more...

Haha. Clearly, I've gone from a quirky alone into a bitter, envious single person. Oh well.


Why I Love the Keg

1. Garlic Mashed Potatoes.
2. Garlic Mashed Potatoes.
3. Garlic Mashed Potatoes.
4. Garlic Mashed Potatoes.
5. Garlic Mashed Potatoes.

Why am I single?

Well, I look and smell like garlic mashed potatoes.


Saturday, January 22, 2005


I went toboganning today! Yaaaaaaaaaay!

So much fun. Janice and I went on this wicked steep hill. It was like going down Splash Mountain! The snow whipping us in the face (poor visibility), an inability to steer (poor toboganning skills), and the steepness made for several amazingly dangerous/fun rides.

I was the one screaming as we went down while Janice remained silent. During one run, when we got to the bottom and crashed, Janice started yelling...My first thought was "Oh shit! I crushed her and broke her arm!"

Turns out she just thought we were going to crash into a tree.

Then we went to the Keg with Heidi. Mmm.

I just tried to watch The Human Stain. Don't bother watching this mess of a movie, read the book instead. It's excellent.


hare krishna

I keep getting this piece of spam:

From: “Neateye”
Subject: Gouranga

Call out Gouranga be happy.
Gouranga Gouranga Gouranga.
Say Gouranga my friend
Gouranga…..That which brings the highest happiness!

Word on the street is that it's either sent by the Hare Krishnas or is somehow related to Grand Theft Auto.

Um. Yeah.


Thursday, January 20, 2005


Woo...They iced over the field next to my house. I can go skating. I just need to sharpen my skates. Hmm...


Wednesday, January 19, 2005


I got to spend some time with a little baby today. Awwwww....She was so good natured. Never fussed...Just played and put everything in her mouth. Awwww. She was so curious.


easter egg hunting

Clearly, I either need a) more homework or b) a new hobby because I just spent the last hour looking at easter eggs from here and here.

What is an easter egg?

I especially like the possum that can be found in Lotus.

In the Globe and Mail today:

Here's the ultimate chatting-up line, devised by Japanese psychologists and sociologists: ''This time next year, let's be laughing together.'' Saying ''next year'' implies that you're after more than a fling, explains Britain's Focus magazine and ''laughing together'' suggests mutual happiness.

Why use that when "I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you" will do?


Monday, January 17, 2005

your genius is showing

Just got back from dinner with Jani-Poo & her brother. We had REAL Chinese food, as Jan's e-mail invite stressed "there's no fried balls or springrolls of any sort... this is the real deal, baby." Real deal, indeed. I didn't eat a fish eye this time, I think once in my life time was enough. And I got a BBQ pork bun from the bakery next to Big Land Farm. Yum.

In other news, the STICKER LADY from Yonge Street has been caught. I gave her money about six years ago, and she said it was for a children's charity. I didn't really believe her, but I gave her $2 anyways...after I handed her the money she said, "That's it?"


Sunday, January 16, 2005

oooh...the future

My wonderful friend J., just dropped off a lovely random present--The SpongeBob Squarepants: Magic 8-Ball. Our old 8-Ball was on the fritz so this is excellent timing on J.'s part!
That said, I'm not sure if "TARTAR SAUCE!" is a "YES" or "NO." :)

In other future oriented news, many of the predictions made by the palm reader in San Francisco are supposed to come true this month:

i) I'll meet the man I'm supposed to marry--I supposedly already know him. OoooooOooooh.
ii) I'll be published--I've already received 2 rejection slips this month...Hmm...

Palm reader has got about 2 weeks to make good on these...


Saturday, January 15, 2005

wonky dream #5

I was filling the snowblower with gasoline, and I kept spilling it EVERYWHERE just out of carelessness. Maybe it was because the gasoline was stored in a plastic bag...?!

Meh. I liked my mornings better when I wouldn't wake up in the middle of my dreams.


out and about

Went out tonight...

Dinner & a movie... I saw In Good Company....in good company! How do you like that? Topher Grace is hot...And Dennis Quaid is old-man-hot.
It's nice to have friends who are in synch with you...Synchronicity is good... :) We played an impromptu game of Saved By the Bell trivia. It was most enjoyable. My friends gave me a lovely cook book for Christmas! So kind! I came empty handed because I'm callous and...unChristmasie...so I paid for dinner. :)

Re: My "double date dream," Junky-- I don't remember much of it. It involved a boy from my high school who looks a lot like a young John Cusack. This look-alike is three years younger than me.

Anyways, from what I remember, I was going to go on a date with him, and he was inviting two of his friends. I did not want this to happen because I thought it would be uncomfortable. That is all I remember. I could have spared you this boring description, but you asked for it!

In other news, John Cusack is playing Torvald Helmer in an adaptation of A Doll's House?! Get out. He is sooo not Torvald.


Thursday, January 13, 2005

yee ha

Had far more success with today's assignment. I'll leave yesterday's to rest for a few days and look back on it (fondly, I'm sure) on Saturday.

I've been having some real wonky dreams recently. Gun fights, mice infestations, double dates...I wonder what type of entertainment tonight's dreams will bring....?


Wednesday, January 12, 2005


I tried to finish one of my assignments today, but I've been having a problem with my writing--It hasn't been clear or easy to produce...I hate when this happens because it makes me wonder whether I am able to express complex, academic ideas. I ended up producing a lot of nonsensical, wordy garbage today that needs to be heavily edited.

Argh. I really wanted to complete this assignment today. While I'm almost finished, what should have taken a few hours has taken many.


Where are the lemon tarts when you need 'em?


Tuesday, January 11, 2005

end of the week

Because I only have class on Mondays and Tuesdays...The week is over for me. Isn't life grand?

That said, I have assignments up the wazoo...So this week will be spent writingwritingwriting and readingreadingreading.

Here is my schedule:

(Maybe if I put it in writing I will follow it...)

Wednesday: Information Policy Assignment #1/Readings
Thursday: Readers' Advisory Assignment #1/Readings
Friday: Reasearch Methods Assignment #1/Reading

Go team!

In other news, I've said it before, and I'll say it again, but I am in desperate need of a crush.


Sunday, January 09, 2005


We played Texas Hold'em yesterday. I lost all my money first. It was sad. I wept. It was a very enjoyable night avec very wonderful people, though.

I've been trying to do my readings, and so far, I've been successful. I wonder if I'll be able to keep it up for the entire semester. My track record is really horrible when it comes to these things, so I dunno.

I'm still tired.

HBO's second season of Carnivale starts up tonight. I'm so excited! I really enjoy this show a lot, and there are so many questions that need answering pronto!

I have nothing else to say.

Oh, I really love lemon tarts. Yum.


Saturday, January 08, 2005

i'm tired

I have a lot of readings to do and assignments to start this weekend.
This first week back was supposed to be easy-peasy. Oh well.

I watched I'm Not Scared (Io non ho puaro) on DVD yesterday. It was a pretty amazing film. I guess it could be described as a coming-of-age thriller...Go see it.

I'm supposed to play poker tonight. I'm too tired though. I just want to sleep.


Wednesday, January 05, 2005

where's my mr. fix-it?

I always like to know how to do technical things by myself. Knowing how to be a Miss Fix-It around the house is important to me. I mean, you can't rely on someone else to do everything can you? I'm all about self-sufficiency.

That said, I know nothing about car maintenance because I hate driving.

Today, when I went to the library, I noticed that one of my front tires was looking sort of flat. So I went to the gas station to pump it, but I don't think the pump was working or I wasn't working the pump. It was "in-service," so to speak, but I don't think it did much. I didn't figure that out very quickly so as I was pressing on the valve for my tire I think I was letting out more air than I was putting in...Making my tire FLAT.

So here I was shitting my pants because, like I said, I already hate driving, so I didn't know what to do. I drove the 3 blocks to the next gas station where there was this very nice, random man about to pump his tires. He helped me out. I am so grateful. He thinks I didn't completely ruin the tire by driving on it. I hope it is okay.

I usually pride myself on not being a dramatic, daft female but in this case I was freaking out as I was driving to the gas station--ABSOLUTELY FREAKING OUT. Whereas, the man who helped me was just so kind and matter-of-fact and generally man-like.

I need to find me one of those.


Tuesday, January 04, 2005


So I have a class with the Hitched Crush this semester. I saw him around the building today, too, but I didn't say "Hi" to him or anything. I've done enough to show him that I exist, I think. That said, there were opportunities for him to acknowledge me and he didn't--So now I have to find a new crush ASAP.

There's a cute guy in one of my new classes whom I have never seen before. He was wearing a lot of name brands..Helly Hanson, Etnies, Point Zero...Those are my only observations. :) I shall knight him Brando in honour of his name brand clothing.

Other than that, the romantic front is a desert.

Meh. Meh.

I'm going to eat dinner at my friend's house tonight. There are eight people in her immediate family ranging from age 11 to age 50something. I'm so excited!


Monday, January 03, 2005


I never really make New Year's resolutions because New Year's fails to have a whole lot of meaning for me...But maybe I'll try... :)

1. Do yoga daily. (My constant search for equanimity.)
2. Do more of my readings for school.

Wow. That's not many!

Oh, and one more--stolen from Junky.

3. Read all the books I own before purchasing new ones!



Sunday, January 02, 2005


New Year's was grand. One of my favorite friends came over and we watched The Hot Chick. Rob Schneider at his best, I must say. Absolute comedic genius. Sadly, that movie gets better every time I see it.

School starts up again tomorrow. I have four new courses to look forward including Information Policy, Reader Advisory, and Research Methods. Yee ha. I can't remember the jargony name of the last one...Oh well.

I wish, I wish, I wish that I will find a new crush this semester.

In other news, did you know they're making a sequel to Deuce Bigalow?